Christians are straight up FREAKS
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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