I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
