So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
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You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
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Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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