You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
