.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
