I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
