Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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