she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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