I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize