They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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