Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
