If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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