I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
