Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
