my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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