Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Let's get the cat blown out
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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