He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
