I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
