He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
