I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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