You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
