Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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