when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
