i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
