her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
