I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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