just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
