Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
