she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
