Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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