I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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