Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
