I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
