I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
