Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
