What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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