How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
