look no pants
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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