I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
