That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I need a burrito and a hug.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
