You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
