I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
we have pet lesbian snakes
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
