Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
