I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I want to be your penis for a week.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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