fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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