sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
