when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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