it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize