by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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