Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
