you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Randomize