It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
