and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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