I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
