my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
4 words: hood of his car
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
