areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Randomize