The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
