Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
