hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
