i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
