my mouth tastes like poor choices
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
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We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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