im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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