My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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