i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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