i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
